We Live...

This is based on a post I put in a closed group for us dicky ticker folk... Some said it helped with the loss of one of our own.  Unfortunately, as is the way on Facebook, it got deleted... As this weekend's antics (to mainly be told of in another post) gave a practical example, I thought I'd share...

This is my way of dealing with things, it's not intended as the best way or the only way, its just my way...

A friend has died, whether we were Facebook only friends, or the sort that we would talk to for hours down the pub.  We don't know, can't know, what happened.  All we can do is mourn them, each in our way, each in our own time.  And above all we live.

We may never know the details of their death, and if we're in groups run by our medical teams they can't tell us the details.  The medical legal world doesn't let them.  We shouldn't ask the family, they'll be deep in mourning themselves, and unless are family friends then All we can do is mourn, and live.  We can't live the lives they would have had, all we can do is live our lives as best we can... We live...

The hurt of the mourning doesn't go away, but over time it does fade to manageable levels but never goes - and as we live we will do things they would have enjoyed, and we should smile and remember them as we live.

And that brings me to this weekend, a long time ago I led a walking group in North Wales - a group of GUCHs and family and it rained, and it was windy, and it was bloody awful weather... Of that group two are not here to walk any more; but we all made it to the top of the Great Orme, not the planned walk, but the walk we did.  As I walked around the spit of land, my heart smiled at the memories... Not just of that weekend, but of other times, other places where we smiled and joked, and sometimes where we cried because life isn't all fun, sometimes its bloody hard work.  They'd have loved and hated the weekend in equal measure, and that would have been great... but they weren't there and could never be there agin, so I mourned.

And I lived.  

TTFN

Paul

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